It’s been 6 months. Some ways I've made it through: Wore black for 40 days Made an altar for you Put crystals in my bra Kept a candle lit whenever I was home Left your bags in my car Took grief herbs Ate nothing Avoided your name Cleaned my room Cleared out my closet Got my… Continue reading 100 Ways I’ve Grieved
for Amanda "Arkansassy" Harris and All Of Us Amanda…... *pause* Strange isn’t it. How the sound of her name holds a new weight. As if it were an incantation. Or a lament. Strange how the whisper of her name can sometimes feel like a scream. That’s what grief does. It transforms. It disfigures. It makes… Continue reading Broken Things. A Eulogy
Written after meeting Erin Allday, Kevin, and Mick of Last Men Standing an article and film about long term survivors of HIV/AIDS. One: For being unable to grieve Many: You are forgiven One: For not going to the funerals Many: You are forgiven One: For being unable to do anything Many: You are forgiven One: For working… Continue reading A Litany For Long-Term HIV/AIDS Survivors
You are 12 years gone. And yet I feel you beside me. These past few months you have walked with me when others couldn’t. It was you that prepared me. I remember the phone call. The one telling me you were gone. I screamed. I fell to the floor. A scream like that, it has… Continue reading 12 Years Gone
What I (think I) know about grief is…. It makes you forget. You get lost driving to work. You never know what day it is. You forget your lovers name, just for a second. What I (think I) know about grief is…. It changes time. You say last week. What you mean is yesterday. An… Continue reading What I (think I) Know About Grief Is….
This town, it is my memory. Like it was then, when we’d take turns as passengers, closing our eyes while others drove us through these streets we’d memorized, just so we could guess where we were. It was a game. We were never wrong. This town, it is a soundtrack, the vibration of electric bass and… Continue reading This Town.
St Augustine said that “Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” I like that. I like thinking of hope as a productive thing. Too often we treat hope like it’s foolish, or lazy.… Continue reading This year, is an AIDS year.
The truth is, I’ve been sick for a long time. I won’t list the symptoms, but I will tell you they are real. There are people in my life who have long encouraged me to slow down. They have asked me to do something different. Some have even demanded I stop altogether. For my own… Continue reading This Isn’t What They Meant When They Said To Put Your Body On The Line.
In response to Proverbs 8: 1-4, 22-31. Written for Open Door UMC on my last day. I remember the weeks gearing up to my first semester in Seminary. It was a mix of emotions. There was something in the guts of me that was steady, calm, and excited. There was a knowing somewhere that this… Continue reading Sermon. The Wisdom Within Us