12 Years Gone

You are 12 years gone. And yet I feel you beside me. These past few months you have walked with me when others couldn’t. It was you that prepared me. I remember the phone call. The one telling me you were gone. I screamed. I fell to the floor. A scream like that, it has… Continue reading 12 Years Gone

What I (think I) Know About Grief Is….

What I (think I) know about grief is…. It makes you forget. You get lost driving to work. You never know what day it is. You forget your lovers name, just for a second. What I (think I) know about grief is…. It changes time. You say last week. What you mean is yesterday. An… Continue reading What I (think I) Know About Grief Is….

While The Veil Is Thin

While the veil is thin I asked my Great Grandmother. I asked her what she would want for me. Maybe what she never had for herself. And I heard an answer. Felt it bubble forth from some secret spot under a gut so used to worry. There was no judgment. There never was. Judgment was… Continue reading While The Veil Is Thin

This Town.

This town, it is my memory. Like it was then, when we’d take turns as passengers, closing our eyes while others drove us through these streets we’d memorized, just so we could guess where we were. It was a game. We were never wrong. This town, it is a soundtrack, the vibration of electric bass and… Continue reading This Town.

This year, is an AIDS year.

 St Augustine said that “Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” I like that. I like thinking of hope as a productive thing. Too often we treat hope like it’s foolish, or lazy.… Continue reading This year, is an AIDS year.

A Service For Us. A Funeral Reimagined

For Erich Kotschi (1982-2004) 11 years ago today was Kotschi's funeral. I was heartbroken and unbelievably angry. That service wasn't what I wanted for him or for us. His parents fundamentalist faith wouldn't allow him his dignity even in death. He deserved better. I wrote this funeral service last semester. It is a reimagining of… Continue reading A Service For Us. A Funeral Reimagined

Sermon. A Woman Deeply Troubled

  “I am a woman deeply troubled” We live in troubling times. In the past few days we have been troubled by the attacks in Paris. We have been troubled by the attacks in Beirut. In Baghdad. In Syria. And more. We have been troubled as we see whose lives are being grieved loudly and… Continue reading Sermon. A Woman Deeply Troubled

Overdose Awareness. Grief, Respect, and Power.

Written for the San Francisco Overdose Awareness Day event, August 30th, 2015. I was 20 when overdose first touched my life. I lost one of my deepest loves, his name was Kotschi. Grief makes some people uncomfortable. They don’t know what to do or say. They start shifting their weight from one foot to the… Continue reading Overdose Awareness. Grief, Respect, and Power.